Diary

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《Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less》

#BN 【book2】 chapter2

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials. Lin YuTang. 《The importance of living》.

The Essentialist

The Way of the Essentialist

  • Not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done;
  • 做一次决定胜过做一千次决定…how??
  • living by design, not by default.

The Model

  • needs, not wants. 但是我要怎么在更长的时间跨度去区分？怎样去坚持？
  • enjoy the journey, not the destination. “感觉更需要耐心，更需要对“趋势、潮流、见别人赚钱”的抵抗力”，昨天写的这句话，现在来看，后半句自己想挣“快钱”的想法暴露无遗。甚至在对女孩子也是如此。我对结果有着病态般的执念，甚至都没意识到自己未曾用心做过。
  • 然而更令我惧怕的一点是：我不知道我的行为、思维中有多少是这种病态？

The Way of the Nonessentialist

  • 自己对自己的事情都分不清楚轻重缓急，能指望别人用好眼看自己？话说回来，哪些事情对我又是最重要的呢？

If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.

Why Nonessentialism Is Everywhere

  • TOO MANY CHOICES
  • Too Much Social Pressure
  • THE IDEA THAT “YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL”

Solutions

  • explore and evaluate

    • “Do I love this?” and “Do I look great in it?” and “Do I wear this often?”。单从这几个例子来看，评估的标准是：强烈的感受(system 1)和事实，唯独没用理性（system 2）;

    • Part One of this book will help you figure out what those activities are.

  • eliminate
    • Part Two of this book will show you how to eliminate the nonessentials
    • how do it in a way that garners you respect from colleagues, bosses, clients, and peers.
  • execute
    • a system to make executing your intentions as effortless as possible.

Essence: the core mind-set

    1. Individual choice: We can choose how to spend our energy and time.
    1. The prevalence of noise: Almost everything is noise, and a very few things are exceptionally valuable.
    1. The reality of trade-offs: We can’t have it all or do it all.

Steps

    1. EXPLORE:
      DISCERNING THE TRIVIAL MANY FROM THE VITAL FEW
    • Essentialists systematically explore and evaluate a broad set of options before committing to any.
    • three questions:
      • “What do I feel deeply inspired by?”
      • “What am I particularly talented at?”
      • “What meets a significant need in the world?”
    1. ELIMINATE: CUTTING OUT THE TRIVIAL MANY
    • It means pushing against social expectations. To do it well takes courage and compassion(同情？why？).
    1. EXECUTE: REMOVING OBSTACLES AND MAKING EXECUTION EFFORTLESS

An Idea Whose Time Has Come

  • 未来10年、20年甚至更久的自己希望现在的自己做什么？

《FBI教你谈判术》

#BN 【book1】 chapter8

GUARANTEE EXECUTION

“YES” IS NOTHING WITHOUT “HOW”

  • 用问题回答问题要注意“语气”；
  • 注意话题流动；

INFLUENCING THOSE BEHIND THE TABLE

  • 对面and我方都不是“孤立的”一个人；

SPOTTING LIARS, DEALING WITH JERKS, AND CHARMING EVERYONE ELSE

  • 对付“老手”，拼耐力；

THE 7-38-55 PERCENT RULE

  • body language and tone of voice—not words—are our most powerful assessment tools.
  • 观察、mirroring、labeling一套。

THE RULE OF THREE

  • The Rule of Three is simply getting the other guy to agree to the same thing three times in the same conversation.
  • 目的是确定对方是否在撒谎、是否会执行；
  • 方法就是变着花样问。
  • 实际上这也是在巩固对方的“条件反射”。在重大问题上，可能得见一次巩固一次。

THE PINOCCHIO EFFECT

生活

连tm话都没说过几句，动tm屁的情，瞎投射个p，交流（过程）、交流（过程）、交流（过程）！！！

感觉日本对弱者给予同情，对生者却百般责难，是我的错觉吗？

是否可以这样假设：平时“接受”、“被接受”的信息中已经包含“足够”的流行文化元素，但为了避免思维方式过于单一，自己主动接受前20-30、甚至更久远年代的文化，以此去补充自身思维的多样性？用“对方”、现实来check自己的思维。

今天这一天感觉没很多输出，甚至觉得有些出很多力但没收获的感觉——我似乎没办法一天看两本书。比起这个，我发现按照我自己的节奏来读书似乎更重要。我能从这个节奏中感到更多的安全感，但是否过于松懈了？其次是，我总是没办法用“知识”去“理解”书中的内容，读过一遍之后往往一头雾水，说忘就忘，哪怕现在在一边读一般做笔记，但能写出自己满意的东西总是在第2、3遍的时候…我需要用写的方式来把自己的思维联系起来，真想到会这么累劳神，这么费时。

我其实比较害怕写“复盘”，一方面是自己确实没写过，另一方面是不知道如何去写。我内心的另一个微弱的声音（理性or直觉）告诉我，必须得写，哪怕写的是个p，哪怕写出来再改…

《大明王朝1566》

  • 制衡、安抚、嚣张、捧杀；
  • 文官三思
    • 思危
    • 思退
    • 思变
  • 向死而生